![]() In our media and advertising culture, beauty can feel like the national religion. We all long for it.ĭesire is exciting but it is not the meaning of life. It’s true that we are all stirred by beauty whether it is in art, nature, or for most gay men, the male body. Whether you are spinning in a sea of envy and self-criticism from watching “Stay” or from your encounters in the gay dating scene, here are some thoughts that may help: Keeping Perspective He “fits in” in a way that none of us ever has. You could call it “acceptance porn” for gay men. He is surrounded by an adoring party of attractive friends who lift him up in the air and carry him around like a hero, for no apparent reason. In the video Steve not only gets love, he receives the ultimate gay wish fulfillment: acceptance from the group. Seeing beautiful men in love is triggering. “To get a boyfriend you have to be in your twenties, white, and hot. “Of course Steve gets what he longs for: he has the washboard abs, big pecs, white teeth and great skin I’ll never have.” ![]() The internal script might go something like this: Some of us watch it and feel badly about ourselves. In the second video Steve’s wish for love is fulfilled: he gets the beautiful gay man.įor those who are still seeking a gorgeous boyfriend, this video can leave you with a feeling of unease. His love is unrequited because the guy is straight. We can all identify with Steve in his first video story. If you are a student of gay culture then you have already seen the groundbreaking music videos by Steve Grand on YouTube entitled, “All American Boy”, as well as his most recent video, “Stay.” This very good-looking singer/songwriter has received millions of views for his musical portrayal of gay relationships. ![]() And no matter what I do, I will never be a great looking guy. ![]() The following article is my response to a question posed to my “Ask Adam” relationship advice column that appears at gay.net’s Dating 101 website.Ĭan you give me some tips on the best ways to get the hot guy of my dreams? As an average-looking guy I am starting to feel hopeless and exhausted in my search. ![]()
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